Five Key Transitions That Most Often Come Up In Parental Transition Coaching

Five Key Transitions That Most Often Come Up In Parental Transition Coaching

By Emma Ryan and Sarah Turner

It could be argued that becoming a parent is one of the biggest transitions one can experience in life, yet is one that can take new parents quite by surprise! Parental leave is often viewed as a pause in one’s career, but it can serve as a transformative period to reimagine how we work and what we value. By stepping away, parents gain a unique opportunity to reassess themselves, their lives and their careers, providing ample opportunities for reflection and growth, both personally and professionally.

As parental transition coaches, we are fortunate to hold space for our clients as they navigate these changes. In this blog, we share five key transitions we often witness in our coaching sessions.  For those of you at this stage, we have also provided some coaching questions to reflect on.

1. Identity Transition

Becoming a parent brings about a profound shift in our identity. In addition to an already familiar professional identity, a new identity as a parent-carer emerges and we integrate the two into a new sense of self. New parents can often feel pulled in two different directions or develop a sense that they are not performing either role very well at all, impacting on their confidence.

Areas of exploration

• Understanding how values, priorities and sense of purpose have shifted as a result of becoming a parent
• Redefining what success looks like as a parent and as a professional
• Dealing with feelings of guilt – and there seems to be so much to feel guilty for – shifting approaches to work, spending less time with children, leaving colleagues in the office when leaving for the nursery run!

Potential Coaching Question

• How has becoming a parent shifted your sense of who you are?

2. Career Plans and Aspiration

Taking a step away from our work and becoming a parent provides an opportunity to pause and reassess long-term career goals. Some parents return to work with greater clarity about what they want; career ambition may be high – or low, and others decide to pivot to align with their new commitments or evolving values. This may include a different working pattern or re-prioritisation regarding career aspirations.

Areas of exploration

• Exploration of different working styles and patterns, such as part-time or flexible working for a period of time
• Clarifying what career aspirations are now and what truly motivates or fulfils you
• Alternative career paths or new opportunities for career development and progression

Potential Coaching Question

• What are your short-term and longer-term career goals?

3. Time and Energy Management

Returning to work after having a baby places new demands on parents. Having previously worked ‘elastic’ days with freedom and flexibility, working parents find the realities of juggling home and work results in ‘book-ended’ days as childcare commitments are assimilated into work demands. Consequently, parents often find themselves feeling exhausted, overwhelmed and struggling to prioritise their time effectively.

Areas of exploration

• Considering what boundaries might need to be in place both at home and at work to help manage the sense of overwhelm.
• Exploring what options are available in terms of working hours, help, support and flexibility.
• Examining limiting beliefs and reframing them so that parents feel empowered to change how they approach their work and redefine who they are as a working parent.

Potential Coaching Question

• What are the changes in your expectations of yourself now?

4. Wellbeing and Resilience

Parenthood can often create a LOT of new stresses, but as with any life challenge or change, it is also an excellent opportunity to build your resilience. Learning to navigate the physical, mental and emotional difficulties many working parents face is critical to thriving during this period and sustainably flourishing in the long term. Many parents naturally focus on caring for others and neglect their own needs. Coaching can help parents learn how to take their own oxygen mask first and give themselves permission to reflect on what this means in practice.

Areas of exploration

• Acknowledging how much has changed as a result of becoming a parent and recognising the impact this has on wellbeing. Developing and strengthening coping strategies to handle stress and overwhelm.
• Building realistic daily routines that support physical and mental health, such as exercise and rest.
• Cultivating a mindset of flexibility and self-compassion during challenging times.

Potential Coaching Question

• What does self-care look like realistically and sustainably in this new phase in your life?

5. Leadership Development

Parenthood often reveals previously unseen or under-appreciated skills and strengths such as empathy, patience, and adaptability, all critical leadership skills. Being a parent also creates a need to shift how we lead others as given the increased demands on our time. On return to work, parents may also find their role or team has gone through changes resulting in a need to re-establish themselves and develop new ways of working.

Areas of exploration

• How to build trust and ease up on control to enable us to empower others and delegate.
• The opportunity to re-shape our role by choosing to let go of some responsibilities yet keeping hold of others.
• Having presence as a leader, without always being present.

Potential Coaching Question

• How does the experience of becoming a parent create an opportunity to shift who you are and want to be as a leader?

Parenthood is a journey – not a destination. These transitions may not all happen simultaneously or be experienced to the same intensity, as each parent’s experience of returning to work is unique. Coaching is invaluable at this time because it helps parents realise they are not alone, that it is normal to take some time to adjust and, importantly, to receive support during this complex life event.